The Only PB Fanfic Ever!
by It'sMaaaatt
Summary: Hero and co. shoot stuff to save PLANET OF YOUR RACE.
1. Prologue:

**CHAPTER 1: Like a Prologue**

Our story starts in the year XXXX, when Aliens and other stuff actually exist. A certain company called Correction Nine (whom will be called C9 from now on) has sent two bad enough dudes, Hero and Noir Lime (Seriously, what kind of name is Noir Lime? Of course, you would say what kind of name is Hero, but I think that Hero is cool, not like a...Lime) to PLANET OF YOUR RACE (not Earth, mind you), witch almost got wiped out by some space hillybillies or what. So Hero went and killed and jumped around lasers, until he found Noir.

YO DOOD, I FOUND THAT CAR! COOL? -exclaimed Noir happily. Yeah, it's pretty good, -said Hero, but... BUT WHAT? WE GONNA HAVE 'SUM JOYRIDE! YO GO AND SHOOT, BUT IF THE CAR GETS SHOT TOO MUCH I WILL TOSS YOU OUT OF THE CAR AND DRIVE AWAY, 'KAY?

Once they finished the "joyride" (witch involved shooting a bunch of f#cking annyoying drones), they arrived at an alien base. Long story short, they then went and killed a bunch of aliens, until they found THE ULTIMAET FINAL BOSS! Noir charged, not noticing that the BOSS has giant ass blades, and he got punched across the room. Of course, Hero was more smart, and crushed the BOSS with a door. Then Hero carried Noir's fatass body to the rocket (aka the TRANSPORT). But since Noir was too fat, he couldn't fit in the Rocket, so Hero left him be.

* * *

Cue an uncertain amount of time later, C9 sent Hero yet again to kill more aliens and stuff. But all wasn't that simple...


	2. Chapter 2:

**CHAPTER 2: The story actually begins!**

Hero got launched to PLANET OF YOUR RACE in a boring, grey, and totally not safe capsule.

AGH! -exlaimed Hero, -What kind of cheap-ass company doesn't give a shit about their worker's safety? Damn. -O HAI DERE! -Who are you? -I am your BattleSuit AI Module No.69! Nice to meet you! ^_^ -Umm, okay...WHERE ARE MY GUNS? AND WHY ARE THEY UNUPGRADED AGAIN! -asked Hero angeredly. -Weeell, your new BattleSuit was pretty darn expensive, so we had to sell your guns. We expect you to take the enemie's ones, as they are better, and free! We also used the remaining money to drop a bunch of explosive barrels on the planet, so you can blow them up! WEEEEE!

Hero exited the cave where he fell, and found an Alien Rifle, witch he took, along with dead aliens (witch he didn't tokk, obviously). Next to the bodies, he saw a crappy construction, witch they call "checkpoint", along with some men in brown BattleSuit. -Who are those fat guys? -asked Hero. -Those people are from Civil Security. They're humans who fight against aliens. -But then WHY ARE THEY SHOOTING AT ME? D: -Weeell, you trespassed their property, so just kill them with your swords, okey dokey? -Why can't I use my guns? -Your guns aren't strong enough for them. Stick with your swords. It's also a good exercise. :D

Hero killed the Civil Security people, and went forward. BOOM, went a drone and another due to aliens. They were weak, so Hero killed them with a sword slash too. Then, he fell in front of the entrance to a base...


	3. Chapter 3:

_OMG AUTHOR'S NOTE:Due to (nonexistent) requests, I continue. Yea, shut the fuck up._

**CHAPTER 3:ur base**

****-HALO IZ BESS GAEM.

-NO, CALL OF DUTEY IS BESS GEAM.

-They both suck! -said Hero (jeez, it's really tiresome to have to mention who said what, btv. those lines above are from the aliens in front of the door.) and shoo-I mean SLASHED, BECAUSE THE ONLY GUNS THAT DON'T SUCK ARE THE FULLY UPGRADED PLAZMAGUN, RAYGUN AND BNG, BUT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THEM! IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE SOMEONE ACTUALLY USES UNUPGRADED GUNS, ESPECIALLY STUFF LIKE PISTOLS AND RIFLES, WHEN EVERY GODDAMN PERSON IS USUALLY CAMPING WITH MINIGUNS, BUT YOU ONLY HAVE LIKE 250 HEALTH NOT 1000 LIKE IN CAMPAIGN, AND THIS SUPPOSED TO BE THE CAMPAIGN, OF COURSE THE MAIN POINT OF PB2 IS THE MULTI, SO DON'T DARE TO MENTION IT WITHOUT THE MULTI, 'CUS THE CAMPAIGN SUCKS, AND IT HAS NO STORY, LIKE YOU SEE! them. Then, he decided to go swimming and test the new Never Drown v.1337 module thingy. So he stayed in water for years, by the time all aliens got bored and abandoned the base, so Hero didn't needed to slash them, because he was a lazy asshole. There was a bunch of levels and crap but I just want to go to the story, sooo:  
-Hero killed himself, or at least his clone, but they weren't as fat as him, and haxed lvl. 3 Rayguns out of nowhere.  
-Killed robots, who spoke gibberish.  
-Glitched in the floor.  
-And etc. (Yeah, etc. gets it's own point.)

Suddenly, we change camera to 'sum beetch called Proxy, who's asian, like Cuky, except he can actually drive. So dat Proxeh fell down from the sky into ANOTHER GODDAMN BASE, tough this one was a Civil Security one. Bunch of guys with crappy guns came out from behind her and said that she's a prisoner and that she's a he (you can see how intelligent the CS is, huh?). So, she sworded everyone, but they had an anti-sword barrier, so she had to use the crappy shotgun that was on a platform in the air. So, I say so too much, so I cut to the part where he-uhh..SHE and Hero meet, so I can actually get to the chase, okay? (it doesn't matters if it's not okay, actually)


End file.
